


Here We Go Again

by ultrakindofqueer



Series: The Marauders - Life At Hogwarts [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eventual Relationships, F/F, F/M, Gay Sirius Black, James Potter & Lily Evans Potter Live, James Potter is a prat, Kind of a slow burn, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Werewolf Reveal, but also not?, but with good intentions, possible angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23939125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultrakindofqueer/pseuds/ultrakindofqueer
Summary: Let the Marauder's second year at Hogwarts commence! Secrets are revealed, relationships are formed, and the four boys become closer than ever.
Relationships: Alice Longbottom & Lily Evans Potter, Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape, Marauders & Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: The Marauders - Life At Hogwarts [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582015
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. School's Out

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back! It's been a hot minute but we're here. This chapter goes back to first-year and touches on summer break.

The memory of the train whistle kept Remus up at night. The memory of his friends and his classes filled his dreams. He was happy to be out for summer, but he missed Hogwarts dearly. And it was only the second week of break. Summer at home was filled with short conversations with his parents and roaming the fields near his house. It was boring. And to top it all off, the full moon was coming up. The bad thing about that was his parents knew the full moon was coming up. He had gotten used to no one knowing about his secret. It was refreshing, in Remus' opinion. But because his parents tracked the moon cycle, Remus was stuck in the house. His parents babied him; they treated him like he was about to shatter into a million pieces. And he hated it. So, lately, Remus had taken to reminiscing. And today was no different. Remus sat on his bed and stared at his ceiling, thinking back to the last day of school.

_ Remus woke up earlier than his friends, around 4:30. They didn't need to be ready to go until 8, but sleep didn't seem like an option anymore. Remus was sad more than excited, but he didn't let it show. His friends were ready to go home and he didn't want to be the weirdo who didn't want to leave. But he didn't. He really didn't. The school had become better than his real home. He had friends and teachers that cared for him and a whole new world to explore. At home, he had no freedom. He was treated like a fragile baby, watched over like a hawk. But at school, he could roam the grounds at 2 in the morning and no one would yell at him. Well, maybe Hagrid, but only if he found him. And Remus was good at hiding. _

_ That morning though, all Remus wanted to do was savor every second. He stayed in bed for an hour or two, just thinking. Thinking about everything that he had been through that year. Meeting James, Sirius, and Peter. Watching James fawn over Lily and make a fool of himself trying to win her over. Befriending McGonagall. Exchanging snide comments about Severus during Potions. Laughing with Lily in the Library. Everything had been perfect. He couldn't have asked for anything different.  _

_ Peter was the second to wake up, doing so around 6:30. He got up and took a shower, making Remus realize he should've done that. But when Peter got up, Remus did too. He got up and started to pack his things, wasting time until Peter finished in the shower. He packed up all of his belongings in a little less than 20 minutes, locking the trunk and moving it aside just as Peter exited the bathroom. Shooting him a quick good morning, Remus headed off to shower.  _

_ When Remus was finished getting ready, he walked back into the bedroom to find both James and Sirius awake. The two were sitting up in bed, barely conscious. It was quite a sight.  _

_ "Good morning, you two." Remus chuckled, greeting them. They only grunted in response. "Have you packed your trunks?" _

_ "James has, but Sirius hasn't left his bed," Peter replied for them, shaking his head. The other two appeared to be too tired to function at all. _

_ "Well, let's get going, Siri. We have to go down to breakfast soon." Remus pulled Sirius out of bed and gently guided (read: pushed) him toward his trunk. Sirius grunted once more and began packing his things. _

_ "Somebody's tired." Peter laughed, moving his trunk to where Remus put his.  _

_ "Shut it," Sirius responded, sounding annoyed. The other three boys knew not to mess with him anymore. They recognized that tone, and it was one that once led to James getting pushed down the stairs. So everyone settled into silence while they finished getting ready. But shortly they were ready for breakfast and headed to the Great Hall. _

_ The Great Hall was filled with excited students and teachers alike and the food was extra good that morning. A spread fit for a king was laid out on the tables and the aroma surrounding it was heavenly. The four boys met Lily and her friends at the Gryffindor table and settled into a comfortable conversation. The whole hall was louder than normal, but that was expected.  _

_ “We need to meet up during the break!” James exclaimed, seemingly thinking the same thing everyone was that morning.  _

_ “Of course,” Peter said, smiling at his friends. “But where?” _

_ “There’s this little restaurant near where I live. It’s a bit of a hole in the wall, but the food is amazing and the owners are two witches. It’s kind of like The Three Broomsticks, but more homey and comfortable, you guys would love it.” James told everyone. _

_ “Well, owl us and maybe we can meet up there,” Remus said. Everyone agreed and moved on to another subject. _

_ The rest of the morning passed by quickly, and soon enough it was time to meet the train. After saying goodbye to McGonagall, the four boys found an empty compartment on the train and settled in for the ride. _

_ That ride was similar to the first one they had taken back in September. But this time, they knew each other and the conversation was about who was joining the Quidditch team the next year and things like that. Remus sat back and observed each of his friends and wished he never had to leave. He was going to miss James’ smile whenever he talked about Lily, and Peter’s obsession with exploding snap, and Sirius. Just Sirius. Everything about Sirius. The two of them had become the best of friends and they never left each other’s side. Though James would be coined Sirius’ best friend, Remus and Sirius were just as close. Remus confided in him when he was feeling down and stayed up late to watch the constellations through their dorm window. He was going to miss being able to talk to someone who didn’t think he was crazy or nerdy or stupid. He was going to miss having friends. Because during the summer, Remus knew he wouldn’t have any. Just his parents. And he really did love them, but sometimes he couldn’t take how they looked at him with such pity and sorrow.  _

_ By the time the train pulled into the station, Remus had memorized every possible thing he could about his friends and made sure to owl them at every chance he got. He told James he would love to meet up during the summer and that even if they weren’t able to, they would have to catch up when they had to go school shopping in August.  _

_ The four boys said their goodbyes and found their respective parents, parting ways for the few short months of summer. Remus really should have been more excited to be home, but he wasn’t. He knew this was going to be a long summer. _

Remus sighed and got up out of his bed. His owl was sitting in his cage beside the window of Remus’ bedroom. It had been 2 weeks since their last day of school, and he still hadn’t heard from his friends. And it was hard on Remus, but he didn’t want to be a bother and send a letter first. But finally, he gave up and decided to send one anyway. 

_ Dear Sirius, _

_ I know it’s only been two weeks but I miss you all so much. Things are really boring at home and I hate not being able to do magic. We live in a muggle area, so I can’t even really discuss magic with anyone. I hope you’re doing well! We should go to that place James spoke of soon, I’m sending him a letter too. Are you free anytime soon? Well anyway, I can’t wait to see you guys again and I hope you’re having a better time than I am.  _

_ Sincerely, _ _  
_ _ Remus Lupin _

Remus wrote Sirius’ letter first, sealing it into an envelope and setting it aside to write the other three. But before he could even get another piece of parchment, something knocked at his window.

Remus jumped up to see an owl fluttering outside of his window and immediately ran over to open it. He recognized it as James’ owl, Felix (named after a famous quidditch player). There was a letter tied to his foot and Remus gently retrieved it to find his own name scrawled across the envelope. Definitely James’ handwriting. Remus opened it to find a message inside,

_ Remus, _

_ I can’t believe it’s only been two weeks! It feels like we’ve been out forever already. But I’m really missing you guys and I was thinking we could get together next Thursday. Would you be interested in going to that restaurant I mentioned on the last day? I was thinking we could meet at 1 pm next Thursday, the 20th, and then go to this park across the street and hang out after. I’ve sent similar letters to both Sirius and Peter. Hope to see you then. _

_ James _

With a smile, Remus pulled out a piece of parchment and went downstairs to ask his parents if he could go. The full moon was this Wednesday, the 12th, so he would be fine to go a week later. His parents thankfully agreed. So he went back to his bedroom to write James back. Despite how his day started out, he was extremely happy and couldn’t wait to see his friends again. Even the full moon didn’t seem as bad anymore.

* * *

Sirius was not having a good time. It had been 15 days since he parted from his friends at the train station. It had been 15 days since he had last smiled. 15 days since he had been happy. For the past 15 days, Sirius spent the majority of his time hiding in his room or roaming the land around his house. He made a point to not speak to his parents and they didn’t seem to mind. If it wasn’t for Regulus, Sirius would’ve left by now. But his brother was only 10, he hadn’t even been accepted into Hogwarts yet. The two brothers didn’t get along extremely well, but they stuck up for each other. They knew they had to stay together for each other’s sake, so Sirius endured the abuse and cruelty of his parents in hopes they would leave his brother alone. And they did, for the most part. Only on occasion would they even yell at Regulus, Sirius took it all. Regulus was thankful and Sirius knew that.

Currently, Sirius was sitting on his bed, reminiscing about the past school year. He could vividly remember the last few days of the year and he frequently daydreamed about them. It was one of the only ways he kept sane.

_ The night before their last day of school was cool as the wind moved through the trees. The four boys had snuck out to roam the grounds. It was sort of a way for them to keep the place fresh in their memories. So they spent most of the night walking around the grounds, joking and talking about the past year they had spent there. It was a perfect way to spend their last day there and Sirius couldn’t have asked for more.  _

_ He was trying to keep happy, so he wouldn’t ruin the other’s excitement, but Sirius really didn’t want to leave. He knew exactly what home would bring him. Fights, lectures, and torture. His mother, no doubt, would yell at him for his actions throughout the school year and then probably give him the silent treatment. His father, on the other hand, would definitely spend every hour he possibly could torturing him. A Black in Gryffindor? He was a traitor and the entire summer would prove that. All of the parties he would have to endure would be worse than what his own family will do to him. But he has to take it, for Regulus. If only he can remember that all summer. _

_ That night, Sirius stayed up later than the rest of them. He watched the moon travel across the sky and picked out constellations that lingered around in the dark. Of course, he was tired, but he would have all summer to sleep at home. He wanted to savor this last night in the tower. His eyes found Hagrid’s shack out by the edge of the woods and smiled at the memory of the man. He might be a stickler for the rules, but there were times he let the four boys roam the grounds by the forest. He would miss him too.  _

_ Sirius probably went to sleep around 4 in the morning, knowing he would have to be up soon. They would have to be at breakfast by 8:00, so that gave Sirius a good 3 hours of sleep. James was the one to wake him up at 7, and he immediately regretted staying up so late. But he figured he could sleep on the train a little if he wanted.  _

_ “Good morning, you two.” Remus came from the bathroom, dressed and ready. How could someone be so collected this early in the morning? It amazed Sirius. But then again, Peter and James had already packed their trunks and both Peter and Remus had showered already. Sirius was the only one who hadn’t gotten up yet. “Have you packed your trunks?” _

_ “James has, but Sirius hasn’t left his bed,” Peter told the boy.  _

_ “Well, let's get going, Siri. We have to go down to breakfast soon.” Remus pulled Sirius out of bed and pushed him to his trunk.  _

_ “Somebody’s tired.” Peter jokes, laughing as Sirius stumbled around collecting his belongings.  _

_ “Shut it.” Sirius snapped, not in the mood for jokes. He had no intention to yell at his friends, but he couldn’t help it. He was tired and miserable. He just wanted to stay, but he had to go home. This was a bad day. But thankfully all of his friends shut up and let him finish packing his trunk.  _

_ Breakfast went by quickly, but Sirius didn’t even register half of the things that were said. Nothing could shake Sirius out of the daze he had found himself in, even his best friends. James mentioned something about a restaurant and that temporarily got Sirius to speak, but after that, he sat in silence. It was within minutes that he was sitting with his friends in a compartment on the train that would take him home. Great. _

_ The ride felt short, even though it took hours. Sirius talked with his friends, trying not to be such a downer, but he really just wanted to go to sleep. But if he did that, he would be home much faster, so he stayed awake the whole time. He noticed that even though James and Peter were very excited and talkative, Remus seemed more closed off, like Sirius himself. That made him wonder if Remus dreaded going home as much as he did, but why? Nothing had been said that Sirius would take to Remus’ home life being awful. He loved his parents, but he did stay over Christmas. Who knows in the end, Sirius knew from experience that people didn’t freely talk about their home lives if they weren’t good.  _

_ As the train pulled into the station, Sirius’ stomach dropped. Here we go, he thought. Time to spend 9 weeks hiding in his room and getting yelled at. The four boys said their goodbyes and parted ways. Sirius went to find his parents and only found Regulus. He should’ve expected that, honestly. _

_ “Mom and dad refuse to pick me up, huh?” Sirius laughed as he put his stuff on the cart his brother had got for him. _

_ “Sorry, I tried to convince them, but they wouldn’t budge. They gave me money and never told me when to be back, so we could go get ice cream or something though!” Regulus said, fishing the coins out of his pocket for emphasis.  _

_ “I think that sounds absolutely perfect. Did you floo here?” Sirius asked him. _

_ “Yeah, I landed in that little bookshop behind the station. We can go there to get back to the house so you can drop off your stuff and then leave.”  _

_ “Well then, let’s go.” Sirius smiled at his brother, trying not to show how he was truly feeling. But he was good at that, plenty of years of practice. _

_ The two boys found the shop within minutes and called for Sirius’ bedroom, which had its own fireplace. They dropped off Sirius’ things and headed to get a treat, their parents never even knew they were there. _

Oh, how Sirius wishes he could’ve escaped his parents for longer that day, but he and Regulus had to come home at some point and when they did, Sirius got yelled at for 47 minutes (he counted). And things didn’t get better. Sirius had to laugh at the thought, he has been pushed around from party to party and be thrown every bad look you could think of. He even had to deal with the Malfoy’s one day. That was unbearable, Lucious was unbearable. But he got through it and he’ll get through the rest of the summer. He just didn’t know how much longer he could take being the ‘traitor’ for.

And that was when an owl flew through his window. He had left it open so his own owl could come and go as she pleased, but this owl was definitely not his. In fact, it seemed to be James’ owl. Sirius recognized it from the owlery at Hogwarts, it was definitely James’. He got up and carefully untied the letter on the bird’s ankle and sat down at his desk to read it.

_ Sirius,  _

_ I can’t believe it’s only been two weeks! It feels like we’ve been out forever. But I’m really missing you guys and I really want to get together soon. Do you remember that restaurant I mentioned on the last day? I was thinking we could all meet there around 1 pm next Thursday, the 20th, and then go to this park across the street and hang out after. It’s a nice place and I honestly just want to hang with you all. I’ve sent similar letters to both Remus and Peter. Hope to see you then.  _

_ James _

Sirius smiled to himself at the thought of meeting up with his friends again. James was right, it felt a lot longer than two weeks. Sirius thought to himself about if he had any plans next week, and when he realized he didn’t, he immediately grabbed a piece of parchment to write James back. He couldn’t wait to see him again.

* * *

Peter was excited. He had gotten James’ letter exactly 8 days ago and he was counting down the seconds until he had to leave for the restaurant. In further letters, James had explained where to floo to and exactly what to say, etc. etc. It had now been three weeks since they left Hogwarts for the summer and Peter had missed it every day. Of course, he loved being home with his parents again, but he really missed the school and his friends. His parents understood that too and told him stories about their days at Hogwarts and helped him with his summer homework. 

As the clock struck 1:00, Peter grabbed a handful of floo powder and stepped into the fireplace. With a shout, he was thrown into the spiral and transported to ‘Marie and Myrtle’s Place’ to meet his friends. When he landed, a small room came into view, and standing before him were two boys. James and Remus.

* * *

James said goodbye to his parents and stepped into his fireplace, shouting his destination. He arrived within seconds to the cafe he deemed his second home, with how much he had been going lately. None of his friends were there yet, that he could see, which he figured. James had left 5 minutes before 1, as his mom ushered him to. The fireplace in the cafe sat in a back room, so the travelers wouldn’t tumble into a busy cafe. The room wasn’t very big, but it had enough space for at least 20 people to fit in comfortably. James moved the wall to the left of the fireplace and waited for his friends.

Remus was the first to arrive, landing gracefully in the fireplace and walking out. He noticed James in no time and walked over to greet him.

“Hey, James! It’s been too long since the last time we met. How’ve you been?” The tall boy asked, hugging his friend briefly. 

“I’ve been well, but I miss school and you guys a lot,” James told him, smiling.

“Me too, I’m definitely ready to go back.” Remus smiled back, leaning against the same wall James was. The two talked and caught up until the next person came through the fireplace.

This time, it was Peter. He stumbled out and managed to stay upright, but barely. That didn’t seem to bother him at all, as he immediately walked over to his friends with a big smile on his face.

“Hey, guys!”

“Hey, Peter. How’ve you been?” Remus asked, hugging the boy.

“Pretty good! Just missing school a little, you guys?”

“Us too. I hope it goes by quickly,” James said, nodding at the statement.

Peter caught up with his friends as they waited for the last person to show up. Sirius got there a minute or two later, and he stumbled through the fireplace a little before dusting off his shirt and walking over to his friends. 

“Hey, guys!” Sirius’s blank facial expression was replaced with a smile within seconds as he met with his friends. 

James led the three boys into the cafe, telling them about the broom he bought a week ago. It was the newest model Quidditch broom that anyone offered. James was extremely excited to be able to continue playing for the Gryffindor team and it showed. Sirius talked with James about the handle coating while the other two listened cluelessly, admiring their friend’s passion. Soon enough, though, the kids were seated near the back of the cafe and given menus. Sirius, Remus, and Peter browsed the selection while James suggested different foods that he had liked. 10 minutes passed and the boys had ordered and received their food.

“How’s your mom, Sirius?” James asked the question and the air immediately tensed around them. Sirius stopped a fork that was halfway to his mouth. Everyone looked at him, awaiting his response.

“Dreadful as always.” Sirius brushed it off with a laugh, regaining his composure and continuing to eat his food.

The boys ate in silence for a few minutes before finding another topic to talk about. James told them that he had recently been owling with Lily and she didn’t seem as disgusted as usual when she talked with him. He took this as a sign that she actually liked him and was too shy to do anything about it, which made the other three simultaneously facepalm. 

It was within seconds that the four boys fell back into their normal routine. They had all missed each other and this was exactly what they needed. They finished their food and made their way to the park and talked for hours. Nothing could have been better.


	2. Back To School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer has ended and back to school the kids go. Hogwarts is packed with kids from each year and everyone is happy to be back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! You can understand it's been a rough time for everyone, and despite having so much free time lately, I haven't had any motivation to write. But I'm back and I'm hoping this will make up for it! Stay safe, guys!

Sirius waited in front of the fireplace as his mother yelled at him one last time before he left for school. His summer had been full of torture. Literally. He had a fresh new set of scars courtesy of his lovely father. Thankfully, his robes would hide the visible ones. Before he had had a chance to leave unnoticed, Sirius had been called down to the living room by his mother. Just the tone of her voice had Sirius' heart rate spiking. This couldn't be good. Sirius had hauled his trunk down the stairs and found his mom, dad, and brother all waiting for him.

"We're going to bring you to the station, but I want to set some ground rules for this year. Clearly, you needed them last year, but we were innocent enough to think you would know not to pull the kind of idiotic stuff you did. First off, you will not do anything out of order in front of any Slytherins. I will NOT have any of your traitorous activities getting back to our family. You have put us through enough shit this summer and I will not be doing this again. You will behave as though you have some amount of common sense. No attracting attention to yourself. You will quit the Quidditch team. I do not want to hear anything about you and if I do, there will be repercussions. Finally-"

"Finally?" Sirius muttered under his breath, but clearly not quietly enough. His mother looked ready to murder him. Which, honestly, he wouldn't put past her.

"I better not have just heard you interrupting me." She said, pulling her wand out and pointing it at him.

"No, ma'am." Sirius had to bite his tongue. It would be awfully suspicious to show up to the train without an arm.

"Good. Now, lastly, you will not come home for Christmas or Easter. You will not step foot in this house unless you absolutely have to. I doubt this one will be hard for you to follow. Let's go. We're going to be late." Walburga held our her hands, allowing both Sirius and Regulus to hold onto her as she apparated them to the station.

Once they arrived, Sirius and Regulus took Sirius's trunk and went to Platforms 9 and 10. Walburga stayed in the place she appeared, waiting for Regulus to come back. She didn't say goodbye or even acknowledge Sirius in any way. Sirius was honestly thankful.

“Sirius! Sirius! Over here!” A voice rang out from somewhere within the station. It sounded like James, and lo and behold, it was. The young boy was waving widely at Sirius from across the station, earning quite a few stares. But Sirius didn’t mind. Everything that had happened during the summer went to the back of Sirius’s mind as he ran to meet his friend. Regulus silently followed him, wondering who this boy was.

“Who’s this?” James asked as the two boys got to him. They were now all standing in between Platforms 9 and 10.

“This is Regulus, my brother,” Sirius said, gesturing to him.

“Oh, cool. Nice to meet you, I’m James Potter.” James reached out his hand to shake Regulus’s and Regulus took his hand.

"I'll see you next summer, Reg. Keep safe, m'kay?" Sirius hugged his brother and patted his back, smiling somewhat forced-like, but Regulus knew what he said was genuine. Sirius wouldn't be there to stick up for him during breaks anymore. He nodded and smiled back at his brother. With one last pat on the back, Sirus and James slipped over to the barrier quickly and unseen. Thankfully, there weren’t many people around, so it didn’t take any time for them to get to the other side.

“Do you want to wait for Remus and Peter or find a compartment and hope they find us?” James asked, looking around the Platform for the two boys.

“I think we can just find a compartment, it’s almost time to go anyway. They might already be one the train.” Sirius said, making a good point. So, the two boys headed off, boarding the train.

It turned out Sirius was right, Remus and Peter were indeed already on the train, and the two found them fairly quickly in one of the last compartments.

“Hey, guys!" Peter was the first to speak, waving energetically at the two wizards as they heaved their trunks into the compartment and sat down across them. James and Sirius slumped into their seats and fell into a short-lived silence. Dragging their trunks across the train station and inside the train itself was kind of exhausting, but they were still vibrating with excitement to get back to their world.

"I met Sirius' brother!" James exclaimed, engaging everyone immediately. No one had ever met any of the other Black's despite hearing a decent amount about them, so they were eager to find out more.

"What's he like? How old is he? Isn't he coming to Hogwarts soon?" The other two boys talked over each other in an effort to ask anything they could think of. Sirius almost laughed at their curiosity, it's not like they were heirs to a throne or anything. They were just purebloods with the normal, insufferable, blood-purity crazed pureblood parents.

"He's about the same height as Sirius, very similar in looks too, it's weird. He looked like he was old enough to be in Hogwarts, how old is he, Sirius?" James answered, turning to Sirius in question in the end.

"He's 10, so he'll be coming to school next year."

"Ooh, fun." James laughed, playfully shoving the boy next to him. Sirius laughed along with him, but everyone could tell something was a little off. Not knowing how to approach the subject, James carefully asked his next question.

"Was he okay to go back alone, I didn't see either of your parents around at the station?" Remus and Peter exchanged a worried look.

"Yeah, he's fine. Mom was waiting outside the station. She apparated us here and let him go with me to help with my trunk. With the little speech that she gave this morning, I'm surprised she didn't just make me floo alone." Sirius laughed, shortly stopping after noticing the confused and slightly concerned looks his friends gave him.

"What happened his morning?" Remus asked, concerning slipping into his tone.

"She gave me her 'ground rules' for this year. You should've heard her, they're ridiculous!" Sirius exclaimed. "I'm not allowed to act out of order in front of any Slytherins, I'm not to attract any attention to myself, I have to quit the Quidditch team, I-"

"You have to WHAT?!" James interrupted, looking beyond shocked and furious.

"Yeah, exactly. I mean, I'm not going to, but still. The last one's kind of good though, I'm not allowed to come home for breaks, so at least, I guess."

"That's crazy, who does she think she is?" James said, shaking his head.

"It's fine, it's not like I want to see her anyway. And I'll only have to deal with them in the summer now, so it's not as bad. Plus, I have Regulus. He'll make it worth it." Sirius reassures them, trying to brush it off. James picks up on his unease and changes the subject, telling them that Lily cut her hair and freaking out about how good it looked and how he had come up with plans to ask her out over the summer. Thankful to have changed the subject, Sirius relaxed into his seat, which was by the window, and watched the passing fields slowly turn into hills and mountains. He knew they were getting closer, and soon enough they all changed into their robes and watched as the castle finally came into view.

Sirius could feel his anxiety and pain fade into the background as he finally felt safe again. He was ready for this year, he could take on anything, even Lucious Malfoy if it meant he didn't have to fear for his life after saying something wrong. For the first time in months, a smile made its way onto his face. He was safe. He was home.

* * *

"Welcome to Hogwarts!" Dumbledore stood before the students, in front of his podium, with a smile. "I have spent the entire summer writing my speech for this feast, but I couldn't come up with more than those three words. It seems all the things I want to say have already been covered by our lovely sorting hat. I will add one additional thing that most everyone already knows, but I feel the need to reiterate still. The forest at the edge of the grounds is forbidden. It is best for everyone to stay away if they wish to keep their lives and it is punishable by detention and point deductions if anyone is found in the forest. I trust you will all obey this rule. That being said, it is time to begin the feast! Enjoy!"

A roar of clapping and cheering followed Dumbledore's speech as the plates filled and everyone began eating. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all sat together at the Gryffindor table, along with Lily, Mary, Alice, Frank, Marlene, and Dorcas. The group talked about their summers and compared schedules. The dinner went by quickly, and in the blink of an eye, the boys were back in their dorm room. 

After they unpacked their trunks, the boys sat together in the middle of the floor, leaning against their beds. For a few moments, the four of them sat in silence, taking in their surroundings. They were in a new dorm room, but the room faced the same side their previous one had. The same small window led out to a fake balcony. The forbidden forest and Hagrid's hut stood in the distance, illuminated by the pale crescent moon. The trees moved with the invisible wind, swaying in unison against the dark horizon. Sirius took a deep breath and smiled to himself once more.

"I missed you all."


	3. Sweater Weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Classes are starting and Sirius starts to worry about Remus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// mentions of sexual abuse 
> 
> Not explicit or obvious but please read cautiously! If you want to skip it, it's the italicized section at the beginning marked by two page seperators

Sirius woke with a start. It was officially the first day of classes at Hogwarts, and he had been very excited. That was until the nightmares started again. Because they had gotten to Hogwarts on a Friday, there were a few days before the start of term that the students were left to their own devices. It was amazing, being able to relax and settle back into the routines of last year. But ever since the second night, Sirius's nightmares had started up again. The memories of a night from this past summer played over and over again while Sirius slept. It was enough for him to consider not sleeping just to get away from the memories.

* * *

_ Sirius was lying in his bed, just about to fall asleep. It was a cold November night, and he could see the steady snowfall out of his window. But right as the blissful state of sleep started to wash over him, Sirius awoke to someone entering his room. The door to his right creaked open, allowing a steady stream of pale light to filter into the once-dark room. But the door only stayed open for a fraction of a second. The man closed it behind him and slipped over to Sirius's bed. The stench of alcohol was overwhelming, especially to the young boy. It filled his nostrils and left no room for anything else to alleviate the horrible scent. _

_ The man sat next to Sirius and just observed him for a few minutes, both of them sitting in silence. After a few seconds, Sirius realized the man in front of him was his uncle. He couldn't quite remember his name, he didn't visit often, but Sirius knew it was him. Instead of asking why his uncle was there, though, Sirius continued to sit in silence. He did so the entire night, even with what occurred. He knew, just by staring into the harsh eyes of the man, that if he made a noise, it would be prompt something even worse than what he had in mind.  _

_ The few hours over which this happened, Sirius kept his eyes trained on the window to the left of his bed. The snowfall was consistent all night and it glistened in the moonlight. Unknowingly, Sirius forever tied this night to the sight of snowfall, and every time he would watch the snow from that night on, the scent of bourbon and sweat filled his nostrils. This night would forever live in his mind, the night he lost his innocence.  _

* * *

The light of the sunrise began to fill the dormitory as the sun braved the horizon. It had to be no later than 5:30 in the morning, most likely earlier. Sirius had barely slept and he most definitely didn't sleep well. After a few moments of inner debate, he decided a warm shower would help.

Sirius dragged himself out of his four-poster and slumped over to the bathroom, trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes. 20 minutes and a steam-filled bathroom later, Sirius emerged clad in his uniform. James and Peter were up by now, leaving Remus as the last to rise. Normally, it's the complete opposite, Remus being the first to wake and Sirius the last, and everyone was shocked. But no one had the heart to wake him until they absolutely needed to. The boy groaned and turned in his bed, shielding himself from the bright sunlight now streaming into the room. Eventually, he rose. And within the remaining 15 minutes of time they had left to get ready, everyone wordlessly went about their morning routine, easily slipping back into it despite the months of summer separating them from the last time they did it.

-

The Great Hall was bustling with students, all pretty excited to begin classes. That belief was shared between the four boys as they drooled over breakfast. And not too long after they sat down, a familiar group of girls found them.

"Why hello, boys. Fancy seeing you here." Marlene, who had grown over the summer, greeted the boys as she joining their spot at the Gryffindor table. Lily, Mary, and Alice followed suit, filling the empty spot between them and other students.

"So, how were everyone's summers?" Lily asked as she buttered a piece of toast. Sirius waited to answer, knowing he'd have to come up with any answer other than "horrible".

"I think we should let Alice answer, I have a feeling she had a quite interesting one." Mary piped up, a smirk on her face. Clearly, she knew something everyone else didn't and by the way Alice's face heated up, it was good.

"Oh, you know. I didn't do much, helped my parents de-gnome the garden a few times. Annoying creatures, those things. I really just enjoyed being home, went to the beach with a family friend. It was relaxing." Alice answered, seemingly jumping around what Mary had intended for her to share.

"Who was the family friend, Alice?" Mary prompted, the innocent look upon her face quite entertaining. Everyone else stayed quiet and waited to see what the big thing was.

"His name is Frank. We've known each other since we were babies. He's also in Gryffindor and he's really nice." Alice was very red in the face and avoiding eye contact with everyone. Lily and Marlene shared a look Sirius couldn't quite decipher but figured it was something along the lines of 'Alice totally likes him and we need more information now'.

"You know I'd love to meet Frank, where is he-"

"No!" Alice squeaked, finally looking up at Mary.

"And why not?"

"I don't want you to embarrass me."

"Why would we embarrass you?"

"Because you know that I think he's cute and you're  _ you _ and. No." Alice finally admitted the thing Mary had been waiting for, evident by the happy smirk returning to her face.

"So! Peter, how was your summer?" Lily clapped and moved the topic away from her poor friend, who looked ready to glare Marlene to death.

Sirius laughed and sat back in his chair, finished with breakfast. He unconsciously zoned out from the conversation, gaze focusing on Remus. The boy looked exhausted, dark circles under his eyes, tiredness just spelled out over his whole face. His eyes had lost their normal gleam- which Sirius totally did not notice immediately upon seeing him that morning.

It made Sirius very worried. It wouldn’t have as much if it were the time for exams or something, but classes hadn’t even started yet. He wondered what could make him this exhausted?

“Sirius? Earth to Sirius!” James’s voice made him jump, he hadn’t realized that someone had been calling his name, Red flooded his cheeks and he dropped his head to avoid eye contact with anyone. 

“Sorry, I’m just exhausted, didn’t get much sleep. Were you asking me something?” He said, trying to steer away from anyone asking why he was staring at Remus. But one look at Marlene let him know he wasn’t going to get away scot-free. 

“Yeah, Marlene asked how your summer was,” James told him, gesturing across to Marlene, who was looking at him knowingly.

“Oh, um, it wasn’t horrible. I’ve learned that parties can be a lot more interesting when everyone stops talking to me. But my Uncle Alphard helped a lot, he’s a bit of an outcast like me. We bonded over that.” Sirius told them, turning his attention back onto his friends and avoiding looking at Remus for too long. He would look into it more later when he wasn’t surrounded by all of his friends. 

“I’m glad you have someone to talk to. But what about your brother? Didn’t you mention you had a younger brother?” Mary asked, not noticing the small change in Sirius’s demeanor. He loved Regulus and protected him at all costs. But leaving him home alone with his parents always freaked him out and he never liked to think about it if he could avoid it.

“Regulus. Yeah. He’s 10, so he’s not the most entertaining of friends, but I always stick with him and make sure no one bothers him too much. Only so much I can do, though, you know.”

“Oh, so he’s coming to Hogwarts next year! Do you think he’ll follow your footsteps and be in-“

“So! Transfiguration is our first class, right? I’m excited to see what McGonagall has in store for us this year.” Sirius interrupted her, steering the conversation as far away from his brother as possible. He hated making things awkward, but he couldn’t stand dwelling on his brother. Too many questions, too many unknowns.

The conversation stayed away from Sirius until they had to leave for class. He was thankful and started to feel bad about acting so childishly. As they made their way to Transfiguration, he fell into pace with Mary and apologized, albeit half-heartedly.

“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier. It’s hard for me to talk about Reg much. It wasn’t anything against you, I want you to know that.” Sirius told her, offering her a hug. She gladly took it and apologized for prying. Everything was as good as new. For now. He always messed things up, so something was bound to happen sooner or later. 

* * *

McGonagall let them pair off to work on the assignment she had given- turning beetle’s into buttons. The four boys stayed together, talking amongst themselves while failing miserably at the task at hand. Well, except for James. He had always excelled in Transfiguration. 

Sirius stayed quiet. He listened to the boys, for the most part, laughing at whatever joke Peter cracked or comment James made about Lily, but he wasn’t really paying attention. Not fully. His mind was stuck looking out the window. 

The skies were grey and Sirius could tell it was cold. Normally, the beginning of the term wasn’t cold. Mostly pleasant days and chilly- but not cold- nights. Every few years the temperatures would dip to an abnormal high or low, but even those weren’t drastic. But one look out of the window and you would know that the weather was strange. Grey skies mixed with darker patches of storm clouds hinted at the incoming of abnormal weather. Sirius felt a chill travel down his spine. It couldn’t possibly snow in September, could it? He wasn’t sure if he could face the snow yet. Not after what happened this summer.

As his mind drifted even farther into the dark rabbit hole that was forming inside, Sirius felt his robes shift. He looked behind him to see if there was someone who had just walked by, only slightly embarrassed at his immediate reaction. But when he saw that everyone was seated and occupied by the assignment, Sirius started to think he had imagined it. 

Just to be safe, he checked his pockets. His left pocket contained a piece of chocolate, the same type Remus ate whenever he felt bad. And confirming his suspicions was Remus, sat on his left, who looked at him with a friendly, reassuring smile. Sirius returned his smile, popping the piece of chocolate in his mouth. Remus always seemed to know when he was feeling bad and exactly how to fix it. 

Now that he really thought about it, Remus did that for everyone. Between the pieces of chocolate placed strategically after a loss for the Quidditch team, a small hug after a fight with the Slytherins, or even stealing food from the kitchens when Peter stopped talking and hid in their room, Remus always knew what to do. Like he could sense their emotions. And that reminded him of something, but it couldn’t be that. Before Sirius could fully piece together his suspicions, Professor McGonagall dismissed them. 

Thankfully, they had a free period after their first class and before lunch, so Sirius slipped away to the library, knowing no one would think to look for him there and he could safely research his suspicions in peace.

And that’s exactly what he did. Sirius spent the next hour flipping through various books. He had remembered something from a party a few years back. The Black’s were obsessed with purity and therefore spent a lot of time with people who shared their beliefs, including one Fenrir Greyback. Sirius had never cared for the man, but little Regulus was fascinated with werewolves. And for some reason, Greyback was happy to tell him anything he wanted. Once at a party, Regulus asked him about his “special abilities” and Greyback told him, among other things, that he could smell emotions. Sirius couldn’t remember the details, but based on his research, all werewolves had the ability to smell emotions. It wasn’t extremely detailed and specific emotions were hard to decipher, but it was there. 

Sirius didn’t believe Remus was a werewolf, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He got sick every month without fail, he always seemed to know when his friends were upset, he could smell things that no one else picked up, and he was weirdly strong for someone so small. All of those things by themselves weren’t odd but put together... Sirius started to wonder. He wouldn’t be mad or betrayed if Remus was, that secret could get him killed. In fact, Sirius was more worried than mad. But he didn’t want to assume or jump to conclusions, so he put the books back and went to find his friends. He would look into it later, maybe check the moon cycles against Remus’ sickness. He’s sure there was a reasonable explanation and he was most likely overthinking it. 

He had a tendency to do that. 


	4. Werewolves of London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus's secret is discovered.

The day had gone by fast for Remus, thankfully. He was exhausted and felt like he’d been run over by a truck. It was the day of the full moon and all of his senses heightened to an extremely uncomfortable level. Of course, it was just his luck that the full moon fell at the start of term. He tried to act as normal as possible, though he could tell Sirius knew something was up. The young boy had always taken extra notice of him and it was kind, but it stressed him out at times like these. He needed to tell his friends before they found out first. But he couldn’t bring himself to do that. How would he even start that conversation?

He sighed to himself, leaning back in the chair he was sitting in. Everyone was sitting in the common room, doing homework or chatting quietly. Dinner had come and gone, leaving Remus ready for sleep. But he knew he wouldn’t get much. With his heightened senses, he could smell  _ everything _ . The cologne James was wearing, the hair gel Sirius was trying out, all of the girls’ perfumes mixed together, and the general pleasant smell that meant everyone around him was happy. There was one other smell Remus couldn’t quite gauge. It was an unpleasant smell that Remus would usually associate with sadness, but it wasn’t a sad smell. It was almost like fear or anxiety, he couldn’t decipher it fully. But it seemed to be coming from Sirius. 

Sirius had been off the whole day. He was zoning in and out of conversations, staring off into space, and he had that odd smell around him. Now that Remus thought of it, Sirius always gave off that smell when he was talking about his family or something that upset him deeply. It must be anxiety. Remus knew Sirius tried to be tough, but his family’s actions hurt him. So right then, Remus made a promise to himself that whenever Sirius felt like that, he would make an effort to cheer him up. Maybe not obviously, but small things. Like when he gave him chocolate after his outburst at breakfast. Just a small touch to remind him that he had someone there for him. 

* * *

Sirius kept looking out of the window. Their friend group was sitting around the fire in the common room, doing homework and chatting, but Sirius couldn’t focus. The sun had finally set and now he was looking for the moon. As time went by, the clouds finally separated and the pale light of the moon shone down onto the grounds. He peered into the night sky and saw it. It appeared full, but he couldn’t tell definitively. He was never good at telling apart almost and truly full moons. But it looked full, so either tonight or tomorrow would be the full moon. So now all he had to do was wait and see if Remus disappeared. 

As the night continued, their friends went to their rooms and the common room slowly emptied out. Soon enough, it was just Sirius, James, and Peter. Remus had left a few minutes prior, claiming to be exhausted. And he did look it. But it set Sirius on edge. He had to tell someone about it, so who better than his closest friends?

“I think Remus is a werewolf.” He blurted out, unable to stop himself. When both of his friend’s heads snapped in his direction, he felt the need to elaborate. “Think about it. He gets sick once a month every month, he has a weirdly amazing sense of smell, he’s super strong even though he’s tiny, and he always seems to know when we’re upset. And werewolves-”

“Are said to be able to smell emotion. I remember reading that somewhere.” Peter cut him off, looking as if all the puzzle pieces were coming together. “But that’s a serious claim, if it was true and anyone found out, he’d be dead.”

“I know! And I would never out him.” He paused, considering the fact that he technically just did--if he was right. “Well, not to anyone out of our friend group. And if it is true, Dumbledore would have to know, and I’m sure he has serious precautions in place.”

“Madam Pomfrey too, and probably McGonagall. You’re right Sirius, they’d be safe about it. If any parents found out, it wouldn’t be good for Dumbledore or the school. But, why wouldn’t he tell us? We could help him.”

“James, don’t talk like that. If you were what society called a monster and hunted down, would you go around telling all your friends?” Sirius snapped, making a really good point.

“You’re right. Sorry, it’s just weird. We’ve lived together for a year, you’d think someone would’ve noticed.” James shrugged. 

“I’m sure he’s gotten good at hiding it,” Peter said quietly. No one wanted to think about that.

“Okay, well there’s only one way to figure it out. Is there a full moon tonight? I can never tell, but it looks quite full.” Sirius pointed at the window and they all walked over to it.

“It’s full,” Peter said like it wasn’t even a question.

“And how do you know that?” 

“Mum and I spend nights in the summer with a telescope-” He paused only to see two very confused faces looking at him. “It’s a muggle creation used to look at stars and planets up close. She told me it was a family tradition and we’ve continued it. But, my point is, I’ve gotten good at telling apart moon phases. It’s full.” 

“So, let’s see if Remus disappears tonight.” Sirius decided and the other two seemed to be in agreeance. “We’ll go back to our room and act like we’re going to bed, but if he leaves, we follow him. We can use your cloak, James. He won’t see us and then we’ll know for sure.”

James nodded and they all headed back up to their room. They got ready for bed and settled in, wishing each other good night in case Remus was listening. His curtains were closed, but there was one side open just enough for them to see his hair on his pillow.

Within the hour, Remus got up and crept out of their room. The other three boys were up as soon as the door closed. Sirius’s heart dropped and they all three shared a concerned look.

“I got the cloak, let’s go,” James whispered, throwing the cloak around the three of them and moving to the door to follow the other boy.

As they made it to the common room, the portrait had just closed. They were right behind Remus. So, not wanting to lose him, they quickly--well, as quickly as they could while huddled under the cloak-- left the common room in search of their friend.

They continued to follow Remus out to the grounds and down the path towards Hagrid’s hut. Before they knew it, they were going towards the Whomping Willow. 

Not knowing what Remus would do to calm the branches, the three boys stood off in the distance to watch. Right as Remus got to the tree, he turned around and looked straight at them. A chill went down Sirius’s spine. He somehow knew the boy could sense them.

“Go back to the dorm. I don’t want to hurt you.” He called, his voice deeper than normal. Right at that moment, Sirius realized he must’ve been able to smell them. How dumb was he to not remember wolves had heightened senses? It was what made him realize his secret in the first place!   
None of the boys moved, they were all frozen in their spots. Remus seemed to know, and they could hear him sigh.

“I know you’re there. Please, go. I’m not joking, you could get hurt and I would never forgive myself.” Remus called out once more and Sirius could hear the fear in his voice. So, he nudged James and they turned back. 

-

The walk back to the tower was silent. At some point, James took the cloak off of them and crushed it into a ball in his hands. None of them knew what to do or say. How could they? Their best friend was a werewolf. How do you process that?

Thankfully, they didn’t run into any professors on the way back, because they didn’t have enough sense to put the cloak back on. Or maybe it was because they were all too stunned to even think of it. Probably the latter.

When they got to the common room, it was unspoken but understood that they didn’t want to go back to their room. No one would’ve been able to sleep. So they sat by the dying fire in silence. 

James broke the silence hours later. “Now what?” 

“Now we protect him. We keep him safe and we help him in any way we can.” Sirius answered simply. There was no other choice. Remus was still their best friend, that would never change.

“How?” Peter questioned.

“I’m not sure yet. But we’ll figure it out. He always cares for us when we’re feeling bad, so we’ll return the favor.” Sirius told him, sighing. He was exhausted but there was no way he was going to sleep until he got to talk to Remus.

“So, when do you think they bring Remus to the Hospital Wing? Who do you think brings him there?” Peter started rambling, something he did when he got really nervous. Sirius felt for him.

“I’m not sure, but we always go to see him after breakfast. So, when it gets closer to morning, we can go shower and get ready and then go to breakfast. Try to act normal. I know it’s hard, but we can do it, okay? We have to. For Remus.” Sirius directed his words more to Peter than James, knowing he would feel better if he had a plan. It was something he had learned after living with him. Peter liked instruction, something to stick to. It brought him comfort. James liked anything that would take his mind off of whatever was bothering him. He would normally go out to the Quidditch Pitch and fly around for a few hours. Remus found comfort in warmth. He would curl up by the fire with a book and cup of tea to clear his head. 

Peter nodded and turned his attention back to the window. It was hard to not wonder how Remus was doing. They never saw the worst of his injuries, or any of them, really. Now that they knew his secret, it was obvious that he had injuries but hid them. He must be covered in scars if anything Sirius learned about werewolves was correct. Speaking of, how much could’ve been right?

“Hey, do you think anything they teach about werewolves is right? Judging by the one I do know, a lot of the information is biased. But I’m sure Greyback isn’t the best informant.” Sirius asked on a whim. He would hang around Greyback fairly often because Regulus was so fascinated with him. 

“You know a werewolf?” James asked, looking confused but curious. Peter’s face mimicking James’s. 

“Fenrir Greyback. He’s in big with the Death Eaters and is quite friendly with the Black’s and other blood-purist families. Regulus is weirdly fascinated with him, so I’ve tagged along with him while he talks to the guy.” Sirius explained, scoffing at the thought of the man.

“That makes more sense than I was expecting.” James laughed, shaking his head at the crazy situation they were in. Sirius had to admit, it was a little insane.

They settled back into silence after that, watching the sun paint the sky with pink and orange. After a few minutes, Sirius realized it had to be at least 5 in the morning, judging by the light.

“What time is it? Do any of you have a watch?” 

“Yeah, it’s 5:27.” Peter supplied, checking his watch. “I guess we should start getting ready. I can’t believe it’s been that long already.”

“I guess so,” James said while Sirius sighed. They all stood up and headed to their dorm.

-

After they all showered and got dressed, they went to the Great Hall. The atmosphere changed and they all stayed silent, even through breakfast. None of them ate much, just enough to stop the rumbling in their stomachs. And before they knew it, they were on the way to the Hospital Wing.

Once they arrived and knocked on the door, they were greeted by an annoyed-looking Madam Pomfrey. She had apparently not been up very long, her hair still messy and face makeup-less. 

“Boys, you know visiting hours don’t start until 8. You can’t see him yet.” She told them, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Madam Pomfrey, please, we have to see him. You don’t understand-” James tried, but she cut him off.

“No. You know the rules. I’ll see you at 8.” She went to turn around and Sirius panicked. 

“We know.”

The nurse stopped in her tracks. Without turning around, she stopped. The boys could hear her sigh. “Alright, come on. But he’s not awake, you’ll have to wait. And be quiet when he wakes up, he’s very sensitive to sound when he first comes to.”


End file.
